I once got the opportunity to be mentored by a senior leader I really admired. I was excited, and in my mind: โmission accomplishedโ. But a few weeks in, our relationship just fizzled out. The calls got shorter, and the conversations became less frequent until they stopped completely. I was disappointed, and I felt like I had let a great opportunity slip through my fingers.
What I didn’t realize at the time is that I was the one who failed. I showed up passively, I wasnโt well prepared, or would think of topics ad hoc, at the last minute. I expected my mentor to lead the relationship, to magically know what I needed and share wisdom and experience with me. I didn’t treat their time as the valuable asset it was, and I certainly didn’t show them that I was fully committed.
What I didn’t get at the time is that “organic” mentorship requires way more effort from the mentee. You have to be the one to drive it.
The mentorships that have worked for me, the ones that have truly moved the needle in my career, were the ones where I was the CEO of the relationship. I was intentional, prepared, and focused on making it a two-way street.
๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒโ๐ ๐ต๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ฏ๐๐ถ๐น๐ฑ ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐ป๐ด ๐บ๐ฒ๐ป๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ฝ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐๐ต๐ถ๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ด๐ฎ๐ป๐ถ๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป:
โข ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ ๐๐
๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐: Talk about what you both want to get out of the relationship to make sure you’re aligned.
โข ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ฃ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฑ: Always have an agenda and specific questions. Don’t waste their time.
โข ๐๐ฒ ๐ฎ ๐ง๐๐ผ-๐ช๐ฎ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐: Look for ways to give back, even if it’s just by sharing a new perspective or a relevant article.
โข ๐๐ผ๐น๐น๐ผ๐ ๐จ๐ฝ: Send a thank-you note, summarize your takeaways, and show how you’re applying their advice.
โข ๐ฆ๐ต๐ผ๐ ๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ฑ๐ฒ: Acknowledging their guidance goes a long way.
Mentorship isn’t something that just happens. It’s a partnership that requires effort and intention.
What was one mentorship relationship that didnโt work as planned for you? What would you do differently next time?
