The Mentor Within: A Simple Question That Changes Everything

Recently, during a coaching session with a new client facing a significant career challenge, I introduced them to a tool so simple it almost feels like magic. As we explored their struggles and aspirations, I asked, “What would you tell yourself if you were your own mentor?” The impact was immediate. My client paused, leaned back, and then began speaking with a clarity and conviction that had been absent just moments before. By the end of the session, they shared that this one question was the biggest takeaway—a gateway to accessing their own knowledge, creativity, and experience.

This moment encapsulates a core belief in co-active coaching: clients are whole, resourceful, and creative. The role of the coach isn’t to provide answers but to guide clients to uncover their own. This question does exactly that. It invites a shift in perspective, a small role play where you step outside yourself and become the guide you’ve always needed. After all, who knows you better, has the full context, and cares more about your best interests than you?

Why This Question Works

The power of this question lies in its simplicity and the mental shift it prompts. By imagining yourself as your own mentor, you:

1. Step into a role of self-compassion: Mentors are inherently supportive and encouraging, reminding us to treat ourselves with the kindness we often reserve for others.
2. Leverage your own expertise: You have all the tools, experiences, and wisdom necessary to navigate challenges; this question helps you tap into them.
3. Gain perspective: By stepping back, you see your situation with fresh eyes, often identifying solutions and opportunities you’d overlooked.

Practical Tips for Using This Tool Effectively

To get the most out of this question, consider these tips:

1. Make it a habit: Treat this question like a daily exercise. Just like a muscle gets stronger the more we train it, this tool becomes more powerful and accessible the more we use it. Whether it’s journaling in the morning, reflecting during a lunch break, or pausing before a big decision, practice asking yourself, “What would my mentor-self say?” The more you use it, the easier and more natural it becomes.
2. Create a ritual: Set aside time to engage with this question thoughtfully. Take a deep breath, or find a quiet space—whatever helps you connect with your mentor within. Incorporate this into your daily routine in the office or during moments of reflection.
3. Write it out: Sometimes, writing your response helps clarify your thoughts. Draft a letter from your mentor-self to you, outlining advice, encouragement, and actionable steps.
4. Anchor it to a visual reminder: Place a sticky note with the question somewhere visible, like your desk or mirror, to serve as a nudge.
5. Expand your mentor’s voice: Imagine your mentor-self not just offering advice but also celebrating your wins, reassuring you during setbacks, and reminding you of your bigger purpose.

Your Turn

This simple tool has transformed conversations in my coaching practice and empowered clients to rediscover their inner wisdom. Now, I turn the question to you: What would you tell yourself if you were your own mentor? Take a moment, reflect, and let your inner guide speak. You might be surprised by the clarity and direction you uncover.