I’ve interviewed hundreds of people throughout my career. The vast majority of them suffered from the exact same severe affliction: The Indifferent Candidate Syndrome.
Picture this: someone is sitting across from me, and it’s glaringly obvious to me that this is their dream job. Yet, they are trying way too hard to project a vibe of, “I’m only here because I happened to have a free slot between physical therapy and yoga, so you should thank me for showing up.” (Come on, seriously? We both know you’re dying to work here. Who are we kidding?)
A week ago, a coachee of mine (let’s call him a Senior Software Architect so I don’t out him) got cold feet. The target: His dream company. The fear: “Mor, I don’t want to come across as desperate. If they realize how badly I want this, they’ll think I’m pathetic.”
But right then, we hit the brakes. I explained to him that a lack of enthusiasm isn’t “professionalism.” It simply hurts his chances.
There’s a concept in psychology called “Emotional Contagion.” It means that if you sit in an interview and say in a flat, news-anchor tone, “I would be thrilled to lead your architecture,” while looking like you’re at a funeral, the interviewer doesn’t perceive it as “executive restraint.” They perceive it as fake.
(Our brains absolutely hate it when words and body language don’t align. It causes a short circuit).
For people to want to work with you, they need to feel your heart beating through the Zoom screen.
So, he went into the interview. He threw the persona out the window. He actually told them: “I’ve been reading about your architecture for three days now, and it is simply brilliant. I just have to be a part of this.”
Three minutes after the interview, my phone rang. Right from his first “Hey, what’s up?” I already knew everything. Excitement was practically pouring out of his ears.
He told me there was a moment where he and the interviewer completely dropped their guard and just geeked out together like two kids over some technical solution.
They didn’t see a desperate candidate. They saw a partner for the journey.
Don’t be afraid to be eager. The world doesn’t distance itself when you show you care. It approaches.ֿ
For anyone who wants to dive deeper into the original research, fact-check, and get the exact science:
- The original study on Emotional Contagion: The seminal work by Prof. Elaine Hatfield and her team, which breaks down the neurological and physiological mechanisms that cause humans to automatically synchronize, absorb, and mimic the emotional state of the person across from them. https://assets.cambridge.org/97805214/44989/sample/9780521444989ws.pdf
- The mechanism of Congruence and perceived credibility: The research of Prof. Albert Mehrabian on the critical importance of total alignment between the three layers of communication: words, tone of voice, and body language. The study conclusively demonstrates how a gap (such as trying to project enthusiasm in a flat or guarded voice) is perceived by the human brain as a complete lack of authenticity. https://www.academia.edu/23744443/Albert_Mehrabian_Silent_Messages